Kathopanishad- Verse 5 - kathopanishad-1-1-5-bahūnāmemi

Kathopanishad – Part 1 – Canto 1 – Verse 5 « »

बहूनामेमि प्रथमो बहूनामेमि मध्यमः ।
किँ स्विद्यमस्य कर्तव्यं यन्मयाऽद्य करिष्यति ॥ ५॥

bahūnāmemi prathamo bahūnāmemi madhyamaḥ .
kim̐ svidyamasya kartavyaṃ yanmayā’dya kariṣyati .. 5..

5 Among many I am the first; or among many I am the middlemost. But certainly I am never the last. What purpose of the King of Death will my father serve today by thus giving me away to him?

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Sri Shankara’s Commentary (Bhashya) translated by S. Sitarama Sastri

Thus addressed, the son alone in himself, anxiously reflected; how will be explained; among many, i.e., of disciples or sons, I go the first, i.e., in the matter of doing service as a disciple; of many a middling disciple, I behave like a middling disciple and never as the worst; still, my father has said that he will give me unto Death, though his son is of such good qualities. What is there to be done for Death which can now be done by me thus given? It is plain that my father has spoken under the influence of anger without any end in view; still my father’s words should not be falsified. Thus thinking, and after anxious reflection, he told his father who was full of grief ‘what have I said.’

Commentary by Swami Krishnananda of the great Divine Life Society

Bahūnām emi prathamaḥ, bahūnām madhyamaḥ; kiṁ svid yamasya kartavyam yan mayādya kariṣyati (1.1.5): This was a very terrible thing for the boy to hear. “You ask me to go to death? It is to death that you are going to offer me as a gift? After all, what is the wrong that I have committed that I should be consumed by the jaws of death? Maybe among people I am not the best, maybe I am at least middling in quality, but am I the worst that I should go to death? What is the Lord of Death about to do with me? Should I die for no fault of mine? Anyway, these words have come from the mouth of my dear father. He wants me to go to death. Father, stick to your words. Do not withdraw these words.”

This is what Rama might have told Dasaratha because Dasaratha might have felt really sorry for having given the promise to Kaikeyi: “I shall offer you boons, whatever be the boons that you ask.” But when the time came for it and he had to offer the boons, to the chagrin of all people, to his own sorrow and to his demise, he would have very much liked to withdraw the promise, indications to which he gave in his anguish-ridden words to Kaikeyi. But Rama said, “Stick to your word, and I shall fulfil the promise that you have given to Mother Kaikeyi.”

Links
Various resources on the Kathopanishad
Upanishad Series – Katopanishad Commentary by Swami Chinmayananda

Kathopanishad – Verse 5 – kathopanishad-1-1-5-bahūnāmemi – In Sanskrit with English Transliteration, Meaning and Commentary by Adi Shankaracharya (Sankara Bhashya) – Katha-1-1-5